I thought he loved me, but he killed me
Today is October 13, 2019. Light, white, glistening snow has started to drop. It is cold and gloomy in the twin cities Minnesota. I am bless to have another day with my three kids and family. I am filled with gratitude. However, across the bridge, 15 miles from here, the sorrow and discontent of a family is felt. It rings throughout their homes and into my heart. Instead of having lunch with her, they instead is mourning her. This family has lost a daughter, a sister, a niece, a friend, and a mother to …. not an illness or an accident…..but to a heartless, senseless, selfish, vicious crime…DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE at the hands of her one and only husband. Her once, her one true love. Her once, her protection. Her once, her future.
This is an all familiar story in all of our community. The rising question is always and usually , “What happened?” “Who did what?” “WHY?” I believe these are the wrong questions. The 3 “W’s” does not work here. The 3 “W’s” does not find solutions …it instead only creates curiosity without solutions.
IS there a solution? Perhaps…that is the most compelling question. Is there? I, we, they, will never know for sure. However, we have to start coming to the table and brainstorm ideas on how we can help. This table that is yearning for ideas, solutions, change, has room for EVERYONE. Not just women or men. It is a table yearning for all walks of life: men, women, children, elders, LGBTQ, all status, EVERYONE. Often times….these tables would go unnoticeable…empty seats…no body wants to fill them. But when an incident happens, all questions arise. If the table is too big … how about we start here.
Start conversations with your family, your children, educate them about domestic violence. What is domestic violence? How to recognize abuse? What to do? What does LOVE truly look like? If you’re experiencing rage, what to do? We all have a responsibility to partake in these conversations.
If you are on the fence about this….ask yourself…..if that was my sister, my mother, my friend in that coffin today…..how would I feel?
-Mai : a concerned mother, daughter, sister, friend , auntie